When most think of an argument, all that comes to mind is fire. There may be rage, shouting, crying, maybe even kissing but the one constant is that everything is on fire.
A few years ago, I would have thought the same. Growing up in a household filled with daily shouting, I saw arguments rip and shred my family apart. But now rather than a separator, I see arguments as something that brings us closer together.
First, let us destigmatize the word argument and bring it back to its roots. Before the word “argument” meant a quarrel, in the early 14c. it was a statement and reasoning supporting an opinion. That is, an argument is simply the sharing of opposing opinions and when we look at an argument like this, we can see the inherent beauty in it.
To argue is to say what you think. It is to express yourself unabashedly.
We have all had a “controversial opinion” that we do not say whether to someone close or far, because we want to avoid conflict. This may save us stress, but more than that, when we do this, we limit our expression; bottle up our feelings inside and based on the topic quietly build resentment for the other person. At the same time, we look down on the importance of our own voices.
A close relationship, whether platonic, familial or romantic, is built up by learning more about one another. This also means we should also appreciate the differences between us. So, if you do not like your friend’s favorite artist, tell them. Even more seriously, if you feel hurt by what they have done to you, let them know.
Think about it now. Would you not want your close friends to tell you everything? So, you should tell them. Argue. To argue, is to be free.
To argue, is to let your passion shine through.
One of my favorite conversations with my friend was, in fact, an argument. It was an argument about who is the better rapper: J. Cole or Kendrick Lamar? (It is Kendrick Lamar by the way). After a while, we did become loud but, in that loudness, we shared our favorite songs, beats, rap lines and albums. In his eyes, I did not see anger, I saw excitement. I felt his everlasting love for moving meaningful lyrics and he saw my adoration for creative artistry.
To add another, the other day my friend cursed me for “ignoring” her team in the Jeopardy game. Funnily enough, it actually made me happy. It showed that she was so engaged in the game, that she cared enough to complain about it. With that, I knew that at least in some way, the game was a success.
To argue, is to grow.
At the heart of an argument is sharing your opinion and learning about a different one. For this reason, arguments can be the most enriching conversations.
I know my thoughts already, so I want to hear yours. As such, I relish when others give me a new perspective, like when my friend argues with me about how I deserve to be treated in my life. I love when I argue about economics, my favorite subject, and I learn something new about it, even if they prove me wrong. Every argument is a new perspective and in that new perspective, a new part of that person is also shown. I cherish most of all when I argue with someone and see more of who they truly are.
Just think of it. Imagine how boring the world would be if everyone thought and said the same things. So, yes, an argument is fire, but this fire is a burning passion, warming you up as it shines before you.
To be clear, I am pointing out how this point system, despite having the best intentions, sometimes (not always) results in a negative experience for the female athletes I suggest that we simply have a qualifiers where all players are assessed equally but as of now, I do not have a complete solution as to how to make actual inclusivity happen and I open this article up to suggestions on how we can all work together to make it work even better in the future. On another note, why don’t we unteach sexism first in the classroom before we even get on the court. Maybe we can have cross gender practices, and cross gender games in the school and with other schools with our already formed teams. Let us also watch amazing female athletes in Physical Education class. But honestly, I do not have all the answers. My main reason for writing this article is to actually get all of yours. Sexism is an issue everywhere let’s all work together to put a stop to it as a society. What solution do you suggest?